Worried about someone else’s gambling

If a partner, parent, child or friend is gambling in a way that worries you, you are not on your own, and the help available is for you as well as for them. This guide brings together what the NHS, Citizens Advice, GamCare and GAMSTOP say about looking after yourself, talking to the person, and protecting your money. It covers Great Britain, with notes where Scotland, Wales or Northern Ireland differ.

Help for you

Citizens Advice (opens in a new tab) says dealing with someone’s gambling problem can be very stressful, and that it is normal to feel anxious, angry or hurt. Places to start:

• The National Gambling Helpline, run by GamCare (opens in a new tab), which says it can help whether you are looking for support for yourself, a friend or a family member. You can call, use live chat or WhatsApp. GamCare also runs a forum and group chatrooms for anyone affected by gambling harm.
• NHS gambling treatment clinics in England. The NHS (opens in a new tab) says their teams can support family or friends who need help. You can self-refer, or ask a GP about services in your area.
• Peer and specialist support. The NHS lists GamAnon meetings, the GamFam lived-experience network and, for people bereaved by gambling-related suicide, Gambling with Lives.
• In Scotland, Citizens Advice Scotland runs a Gambling Support Service advice line on 0800 328 1131 (Monday to Friday, 10am to 3pm) for people affected by gambling, including help with debt, housing, work and relationships.
• For women affected by someone else’s gambling, Citizens Advice points to GamCare’s Way Forward support group.

Talking to them

Citizens Advice suggests telling the person how their behaviour is affecting you, asking how big the problem is, and letting them know they can get help. It can be a difficult conversation to start. GAMSTOP says the same about raising self-exclusion: approach it carefully, but it could be just what they need to hear.

The NHS self-check (opens in a new tab) asks questions such as whether someone bets more than they can afford to lose, chases losses, or has borrowed or sold things to gamble. It may help you both to look at it, though only the person who gambles can answer it for themselves.

If the person who gambles makes you feel anxious or threatened, Citizens Advice says it might be domestic abuse, and that you can get help.

Should you lend them money?

GamCare (opens in a new tab) says its experience is that lending money rarely helps in the long run. It explains why some common fears are less certain than they feel:

• “They will lose their home.” Making their payments is not a long-term solution. If they have rent or mortgage arrears, they need free debt or housing advice as well as help with gambling.
• “Their interest is so high they will never get out of debt.” Clearing one debt does not break the cycle. Some debts may not be enforceable, and there may be options they have not considered.
• “Our address will be blacklisted.” GamCare says credit scoring depends on the individual, not the address. If you are financially linked, for example through a joint account or as a guarantor, you may be able to ask to be disassociated.
• “Loan sharks are involved.” Loan sharks act illegally, and GamCare says their debts are not legally enforceable. You can contact the Illegal Money Lending Team for your nation.

Free debt advice lines GamCare lists include National Debtline (0808 808 4000) and StepChange (0800 138 1111). Our gambling and debt guide covers priority bills, Breathing Space and bank help in more detail.

Are you responsible for their debts?

Citizens Advice says you are only responsible for debt in your name. GamCare adds that living with, being married to or being related to someone in debt does not automatically make you liable; you usually are only if you are both named on the debt or you acted as guarantor.

• A joint loan: you are both responsible, and your credit rating can be affected by the other person’s actions.
• Borrowing in your name without permission: this is fraud. Report it to the lender as soon as possible. If the lender agrees it is fraud, you will not have to repay, and money you have already paid will be returned. If you are unhappy with the lender’s investigation, you can complain to the Financial Ombudsman Service. In England and Wales you can also report it to Report Fraud on 0300 123 2040; in Scotland, Citizens Advice says to report fraud to the police. See our scams and fraud guide.
• A loan you were forced to take out: tell the lender if you experienced domestic abuse or coercion, for example being scared into borrowing to fund their gambling.

Protecting money you share

Citizens Advice suggests keeping an eye on your finances, as you might not know how big the problem is. GamCare and Citizens Advice describe these options:

• Joint bank accounts: GamCare says you can ask your bank to freeze a joint account so only payments or withdrawals authorised by both of you can be made.
• Your home: GamCare suggests speaking to your mortgage provider so the home cannot be remortgaged without your permission. Citizens Advice warns that if a joint owner is in debt, they could be forced to sell their share, so it may help to contact their creditors and explain what is being done to tackle the problem.
• Joint benefit claims: if the person who gambles receives the money, you might be able to split the payments. Ask whoever pays the benefit, such as DWP or HMRC.
• Taking over the finances for a while: GamCare says, if you are in a position to, it can help to work with them to manage their money for a few months while other support is put in place, though it is not always a permanent solution.

What GAMSTOP can and cannot do

GAMSTOP (opens in a new tab) says you must not try to register someone else; it is a choice they need to make themselves. The only exception is if you are lawfully entitled and authorised, for example with a valid Power of Attorney.

You can register yourself. GAMSTOP says this stops your details being used by someone else to open or use online gambling accounts. You can also tell the person about GAMSTOP and share its leaflets. Our GAMSTOP guide explains how self-exclusion works.

If a gambling business did not take steps to stop someone using your debit card without your permission, GamCare notes you can complain about its conduct; our complaints guide sets out the route.

Northern Ireland

Citizens Advice’s gambling advice does not cover Northern Ireland; it points to Advice NI for debt help. nidirect (opens in a new tab) lists support including Dunlewey Addiction Services, free on 08000 886 725, and gambling support on 0808 8020 133. See our Northern Ireland gambling law guide for how the rules differ.